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True Heroism

I saw this over on Facebook, and felt kind of sad:


I am definitely a hero to my son, arguably the most dedicated he'll ever have. But he's never really been the Jimmy Olsen to my Superman; he's the J. Jonah Jameson to my Spider-Man. Some days I'm not sure I'll ever see him show me the common courtesy he'd show a stranger, to say nothing of actual respect. But I'm not going to stop. And that's heroic, even if he never recognizes it.

But then there's the second part of the inscription, which is actually true and heartwarming. My daughter has mentioned wanting to marry me a couple of times in the past (though it's been a while; she learned and accepted the impossibility just fine). She's got a healthy love for both of her parents. Her faith in me inspires me to live up to it.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
archmage
Jan. 29th, 2012 12:21 pm (UTC)
Some of that is just "boys growing up", I think. Like you say, don't give up, and let him come to it on his own. Girls tend to be closer to their families, especially early on, and the difference can be a little shocking when you have them both in front of you like this.

Hang in there, bo'.
bryce
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:27 pm (UTC)
Good point. My perception of Riley's behavior certainly suffers from the juxtaposition, which isn't fair.
staxxy
Jan. 31st, 2012 04:10 am (UTC)
how old are they now?
bryce
Jan. 31st, 2012 04:55 am (UTC)
Riley's 6, Lydia's 4. But those two years aren't the difference, it's personality.
staxxy
Jan. 31st, 2012 05:22 am (UTC)
you misunderstand the question's reason. Part of Riley's disrespect issues are more than just the human cycle of development. In our society, 6 is the age that children are developing bonds with their peers over the bonds with their family. Depending on the child's individual temperament, that may manifest as a lack of interaction, a lack of respect, a lack of appetite at home, a lack of personal care (which could be hygiene focused or external property focused), or even as random outbursts of violence.

Also in this mix is Riley internalizing that it is important to be polite in public and to play by the rules of society to get along with others. At home he know that he gets to be *himself*. He doesn't have to pretend to be someone else for his family.

As Archie says, he will come around on his own. The waiting is rough, but it will be worth it.
staxxy
Jan. 31st, 2012 05:23 am (UTC)
and, of course, there is a rather large difference between boys and girls in development.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )