April 16th, 2014


"Nice Guys" and finishing last

For ages now, my Twitter bio blurb has described me as, among other things, a "convicted nice guy." What I mean by that is that other people tend to describe me as nice, and I guess I generally agree with them.

Notice I didn't say "thoughtful," but "nice." I'm a lousy gift-giver. But I am agreeable. I avoid conflict. I don't gossip or judge people. I try to be very difficult to hate.

That's all.

But I can't look at the phrase "nice guy" anymore without seeing all the gender wars connotations. As such, I want to say the following to all the "Nice Guys" out there who complain about being confined to the "friend zone":

Nice guys really do finish last more often. It's true. Because nice guys people put other people's interests ahead of their own, and sometimes it's to their own detriment.

See, that's the very thing that makes an act nice: it's not self-serving. It's called sacrifice. We put ourselves in that position by choice. How can you complain about a choice you made to be kind to someone? If you think your kind act isn't worthwhile unless you get a specific reaction, then guess what? It wasn't ever chivalrous to begin with. Nice people understand that kindness is its own reward.

Anyway, I'm now changing my bio blurb from "guy" to "person," lest anyone get the wrong idea about what I mean. That's better anyway.
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