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May. 4th, 2008

My grandfather passed away last night. He went quietly in his sleep, I can't ask for better than that. I'm mostly all right, I'm at the point where I'm just grateful for the time we had. But I miss him already, even though I haven't gotten to see him all that often since I moved from Missouri.

His funeral will be Wednesday afternoon. I don't feel like I need to attend for my own sake. Part of him is with me all the time. I'm debating going anyway, for the rest of my family, especially my aunts and uncles. But it would mean taking both of the kids, so that complicates the whole thing considerably. Everybody's going to be supportive either way.

I missed my grandmother's funeral two years ago, and it's not even guilt that I feel about it, but I just felt so isolated from my family, it still bothers me. I mean, I live almost 800 miles away, and even farther in recent years; it's not like I get a lot of chances to act like family. And Lord knows I've squandered enough chances already. But then I wonder if it's selfish of me to drag the kids out there for such a reason. On the other hand, it feels at least as selfish to be whining about the logistical difficulties of air travel with two kids. Anyway, I need to decide tonight, if I have any hope of making it there.

Update: I am going to go after all. Laura's taking a couple days off work to watch both kids, which frees me up to take late night flights. It'll be a really short trip, but I know I'll be glad I made it.

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
slfcllednowhere
May. 5th, 2008 03:35 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry Bryce. I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with the death of close family members yet and I can't imagine how hard it is. I would go to the funeral, but official closure is important to me.
archmage
May. 5th, 2008 05:24 am (UTC)
My condolences. Still, as you say, if you're gonna go, that's the best way.

It's odd to see people's reactions to funerals and attendance. I took Hell from my family for not going to my grandfather's funeral. 3000 miles, it just wasn't gonna happen, but still...*shrug*
alessar
May. 5th, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC)
My condolences ;_;
tacologic
May. 5th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
:( I'm sorry for your loss.
bec_87rb
May. 5th, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
Glad you got a chance to go
I'm sorry about your grandpa. :(

It's always good to make the funerals if you possibly can, I feel? It shows respect, and it kind of completes things, to see the person off. Also, as you say, it keeps connections to the family.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )